Animal

The Hunting Dog (added 1 year, 5 months ago by pekin24)
Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't any ducks out there, I'm not going hunting." . .So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks...read more

Jesus and the Robber (added 1 year, 5 months ago by heartboy)
One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" while he rumagged through the desk. . .He replied, "Who said that?!" . .Once again he heard the same thing, "Jesus is watching you!" . .The robber looked around the room o...read more

Bar

Proud Texan Father (added 1 year, 5 months ago by icantbeliveit)
A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas baby" weighing twenty pounds. . .Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the typ...read more

Blonde

Did you hear about the blonde that... (added 1 year, 5 months ago by explorer07)
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope. . .Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years" . .Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button. . .When asked what ...read more

Computer

Is Windows a Virus (added 1 year, 5 months ago by funnycat)
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do: . .1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that. . .2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that. . .3.Viruses will, from time to time,...read more

You've been programming too long when (added 1 year, 5 months ago by edmond)
When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...". . .When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits. . .When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed,then I am going to divorce you!",...read more

Dirty

Girls night out (added 1 year, 5 months ago by pekin24)
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested the...read more

Funny

funny (added 2 months, 1 week ago by crazytiffany14)
idk...read more

Bungee Jumping in Mexico (added 1 year, 6 months ago by eva)
Two guys, Ralph and Leroy were bungee-jumping, one day. The Ralph says to Leroy. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." Leroy thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money and buy everything they ...read more

THE MATHS OF LIFE (added 1 year, 7 months ago by FunnyDB)
Smart man + smart woman = romance .Smart man + dumb woman = affair .Dumb man + smart woman = marriage .Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy .Smart boss + smart employee = profit .Smart boss + dumb employee = production .Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion ...read more

Lawyer

Smartest Man in the World (added 1 year, 5 months ago by kimberly)
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. . .In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grab...read more

Medical

Need Samples (added 1 year, 5 months ago by blurt)
An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample." . .The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at hi...read more

Misc

top ten tips to know if you have PMS (added 1 year, 5 months ago by icantbeliveit)
10. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. . .9. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet . .8. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. . .7. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. . .6. You're using your cell...read more

Religious

Seventeenth Chapter (added 1 year, 5 months ago by icantbeliveit)
A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week. . ."Next Sunday," she said, "we are going to talk about liars, and in preparation for our lesson I want you all to read the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark." . .The following week, ...read more

Sports

jr's new sponsor (added 1 year ago by dalejr)
jr has decided to come out and say what he truly stands for so national guard will not sponsor him next year based on his sexual orgin and national guard does not support it so in return the guard will move fully to jeff gordon next year and the support gr...read more

10 Reasons Not To Jog (added 1 year, 5 months ago by heartboy)
1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now & we don't know where the heck she is. . .2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. . .3. I joined a health club last year, spe...read more